Closer By Cutting
by TheEliteLabRatsLover
Summary: Her life was forever changed by that text. At first she had believed that her life would be ruined, and never the same. Well, it was certainly never the same again after that. But only now did she realize that receiving that text was possibly the best thing to ever happen to her. (Not Brase)


**First off, this _IS NOT_ a Brase story. I only see them as siblings, therefore any fluff in this story between them, is merely sibling fluff. Secondly, it was insanely weird to write this whole story with my name as the main characters name and it being in her P.O.V. Just...weird. But cool. ;P Anyway, hope you enjoy this rather dark, yet fluffy story! :)**

 **Disclaimer: As I'm sitting on my bed, writing this on my computer, do I seriously look like I own this? Yeah, that's what I thought. No.**

* * *

Bree was done.

She was just _so done_ with her life.

She was fed up with all this pain and heartache. She was just sitting on the couch watching some game show, and _really_ enjoying the fact that she was home alone; until she got that text. She will never forget receiving _that_ text.

Just the day before, Owen had broken up with her, and that _stung_. But she was surprisingly able to get over it by the next day. Especially with some encouraging words from both Tasha and Chase. She smiled as she recalled just what exactly Chase had said to her.

* * *

 _She had just been down in the lab sitting in her capsule crying, as she had just been broken up with by Owen, and rushed back home._

 _She had been lost in her own self-hated little world, when she heard footsteps, and looked up to see Chase look over at her capsule with confusion and she watched as his facial features changed from confused to shocked, to worried. He immediately rushed over to her capsule, but she quickly tried to hide her face by bringing her knees up closer to her forehead._

 _"Bree?" He questioned softly, but she ignored. "Can I open the door?" She shook her head slowly. "Please?" He asked quietly, and after a few moments she nodded slightly and faintly heard the door creaking open. "What's wrong?" He questioned softly and she looked up at him, sure that her tear streaked face and ruined makeup had to look horrendous._

 _"Owen...broke up with me," She choked out and saw Chase's face once again go from confusion, to shock, to, surprisingly, anger. He immediately wrapped her in his arms and held her gently against him as she sobbed._

 _He ran his fingers through her hair and whispered comforting words to soothe her. She cried into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, making a mental note to ask him about this moment later. She never knew her brother could be so comforting._

 _"Shh...it's okay. You're okay," He murmured, and after a little while, she pulled away and sat down on the step near her capsule. Chase sat next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder, giving her space, but keeping her close. She sniffed before she began taking._

 _"He-he said that I didn't mean anything to him anymore. That I was worthless...and that no guy would ever want someone like me." She broke off with a sob at the end and felt herself being pulled back into Chase's arms._

 _"That is_ _ **not**_ _true, Bree. That is so not true." He declared, and she was shocked by how certain he was. She pulled away and looked at him, surprised by the look in his eyes. There was anger, for sure, but there was heartache and she only caught a glimpse of another emotion, but it quickly disappeared as fast as it came so she didn't know what it was exactly._

 _"Look, Bree, I know we tease you a lot, but we do all love you. You're the greatest sister anyone could ever ask for. And I've been honored with having the privilege to have you as my sister. You're an amazing woman, Bree. And if some jerk of a guy doesn't realize that, then he doesn't deserve you, and you don't need to reduce yourself to a guy on that level." He stated and she watched in amazement at his certainty._

 _"You really believe that?" She questioned softly, almost a whisper. He smiled softly and nodded._

 _"Yeah, Bree. I actually do." He said before standing up slowly. "You want me to go get Tasha?" He asked and she nodded. He disappeared into the elevator, and she didn't see him again for the rest of the day. She thought that he was avoiding her. Little did she know that that was the farthest thing from the truth._

* * *

At least somebody cared about her. She sighed and glanced up at the kitchen, when a sudden idea popped in her had. For a moment she wondered what it would be like to just grab the blade and drag it across her wrist.

Would it be too painful?

Would it feel liberating?

Would she finally feel free of her burdens?

She wouldn't commit suicide, for sure, but maybe...

She shook her head. How could she think like that? She was supposed to be strong. She was supposed to be an independent woman who wouldn't be brought down by a single, little, dirty text.

But that text...it made her world come crashing down.

She frowned and stood up, walking slowly over to the kitchen and placing a lone hand on the counter. But maybe...maybe it wouldn't hurt to cut just once? She wouldn't get addicted. She had a strong willpower.

She sighed, knowing even the strongest of people can cut and still get addicted. Does she really want the fact that she once cut to hang over her head?

And those scars...well, she was always a fan of long sleeve shirts.

She took one step into the kitchen, and felt a tingle run up and down her spine.

 _They won't be home for another hour, Bree. You have time. That is, if you_ _ **want**_ _to do it. Which you do...right?_

Her conscience whispered to her from the back of her mind, making a chill race up and down her spine. She took another cautious step into the kitchen, and then another.

Another.

And another.

And again and again until the was right in front of the counter, facing the knives drawer. She slowly opened the drawer, and looked at the shiny, metal objects glinting in the light from overhead.

She cautiously reached and pulled one out; the clanging sound almost a lullaby to her ears. She brought up her hand to the sharp knife, and traced a line up and down the edge, shuddering at the ice cold touch. She glanced back at the door, and bit her lip. She did have time.

They wouldn't be back for quite a while.

She inhaled and nodded to herself before heading to the bathroom. She was going to do it. This was it. She opened the door slowly and placed the blade on the counter near the sink. She closed the door behind her and rolled up her sleeves, glancing up at the mirror as she did so. She frowned.

Was her face that pudgy yesterday?

Shaking off that thought, she carefully picked up the knife, finding irony in the fact of how gentle she was being at handling the knife compared to just _what_ she was going to be doing with it.

She brought the blade down against her skin slowly, and shivered at the contact. Without taking another thought, she dragged it across her wrist and gasped at the pain. A wince made it's way onto her face as she questioned herself. Just what have I done?

Her sensible side asked, but just then, the undeniable urge to drag it across her skin again became overwhelming. Just one more wouldn't hurt...right?

Soon, one became, two, then three, then four. And then she couldn't seem to stop, as she made her way all the way up to her elbows. She frowned as she paused with the knife; feeling a stinging sensation all across her arm, and also feeling the blood running down her arms and dripping off into the sink.

It was too late to stop...she was addicted. She promised herself she wouldn't get addicted, and yet here she was; covered in crimson all the way up to her elbows. She shook her head, and ignored the tears starting to stream their way down her cheeks. She bowed her head and closed her eyes as she drug it across yet one more time.

Suddenly, she heard a door open and gasped with a jerk, that send the blade across her arm and clattering to the ground. She mentally cursed herself and quickly picked up the knife.

"Bree?" She heard Chase ask from right behind the door. How did he possibly move so fast? She wondered as she quickly turned on the sink with panic.

"Y-yeah, I'm-I'm in here!" She exclaimed, silently growling in frustration as the water wouldn't run fast enough to get the bloodstains out of the sink. "W-what you do you want?" She asked, trying to get the panic out of her voice. Why was she acting so flustered!? Why couldn't she just be calm? Way to not be suspicious, Bree! She mentally yelled at herself.

"Well, we all went out for ice cream after the movie, but then the others decided they wanted to go to the go-cart tracks, and I decided to come check up on you. I brought ice cream," He said and she smiled sadly, pausing for a moment with the sink. Of course, Chase would bring her ice cream.

"Thanks, but you really didn't have to. For both the checking on me, and ice cream. I'm fine, though. I'll just be out in a minute. You can go if you want." She stated and immediately wished it back. Once again, way to not be suspicious!

"Bree, is everything all right in there?" He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine! Just-just drying my hair!" She exclaimed before starting to rinse off her arms and gasping at the pain that radiated from there.

"Then why is the water running? And why did you gasp? Bree, what's going on in there?" Chase asked, voice sounding more and more worried by the second. She didn't answer him at first, because she was at a loss as to what she should say. And that only added more to his suspicion. "Bree?"

"I-I-um,-I was just-just-" Before she could finish her stuttering, which, let's face it, wasn't ending anytime soon, Chase spoke up.

"Bree, if you don't give me a sensible answer I'm coming in there. You have five seconds." He warned and she would have sworn her heart stopped for a moment.

"No, no! Don't! Please, just don't!" She said with extreme panic in her voice as she wracked her brain for what she should do. She could super speed out before he even gets-

"Bree, that is not an answer. I'm coming in." He declared, cutting off her thoughts. Before she could even react, the door was open with a wide-eyed Chase standing in the doorway. She should have locked it! She mentally scolded herself. But Chase still probably would have found a way.

Jumping back into the present, she stuttered as she tried to think up a good reason for her bloody arms, bloody sink, tear stained cheeks and a scarlet coated knife next to her. Chase just looked at her with shock.

"C-Chase, I-I swear, I d-didn't mean-" Before she could finish, Chase had pulled her into a tight hug, holding her with a death grip. And before she realized it, she was sobbing into his shoulder as her knees buckled, making Chase slowly lower her to the ground, until they were both on their knees. "I-I'm so, so sorry-" She began in between sobs and felt Chase shake his head.

"Shh, shh..." He whispered and she cried the hardest she ever had before in her life; feeling utterly broken to the core inside and outside. After several minutes of her sobbing hysterically, she pulled back and frantically wiped at her face, trying to get rid of the tears and mascara.

She knew she should have worn waterproof mascara. She was afraid to look up at Chase, but finally made herself, and was shocked at the sight. His whole body was practically shaking and his jaw was clenched incredibly hard.

"Chase, I-" He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Don't e-ever do t-that again," He said through grinded teeth. He opened his eyes, and she was startled by the amount of emotions and tears they contained.

"Chase, I am _so_ sorry, that was so stupid of me. I shouldn't have reacted that way, I-I just-" Once again, she was cut off as Chase shook his head and looked down. He swallowed hard as he moved just a little ways closer to her.

"Look," He commanded, voice barely above a whisper, as he rolled up his sleeves, looking anywhere and everywhere but at her. She held back a gasp as she brought a hand up over her mouth.

"No..." She whispered at all the lines on his arm. There were faded, white scars on his arm, while there were newer ones, and then fresh ones. "No. Just no," She exclaimed, voice barely audible. He nodded, as he finally looked at her. "How long, Chase?" She asked and he frowned.

"Me? What about you? How long have you been... _cutting_?" He asked, voice full of bitterness at the word.

"This was my first time. Now, answer. The. Question." She commanded, voice full of so much determination, that it even shocked her to hear it. He closed his eyes with a heavy sigh.

"I honestly don't know," He stated quietly and she frowned. He didn't know? Has he seriously been cutting _that_ long?

"Wait, you don't know?" She asked, but he didn't respond as he looked at her. "Wait a moment, you cut!? And I never even knew? Did anybody even know? Wait a minute, _why are you even cutting_!?" She asked and he guffawed.

"Why am _I_ even cutting? Why are you!?" He asked and she sighed. She slowly pulled out her phone and brought up the text that caused all of this mess. She showed him, and looked away in shame. He looked at her for a moment in uncertainty, but she nodded, so he looked down at the phone.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his whole body tense with anger, and was afraid for a moment that Spike would show up. But she knew that he knew how to control Spike better now.

"I thought I told him," He started, voice dangerously low. She frowned in confusion, as he started to stand up to leave. She quickly went up on her knees and grabbed his wrist, watching as he hissed in pain at the contact. She retracted her hand.

"Sorry, but just who exactly are you talking about?" She questioned as she stood up fully, and faced him.

"It doesn't even matter, Bree. What matters, is that some jerk would send that to you! Seriously, it said you should kill yourself! No idiot is going to say that to my sister and get away with it!" He declared and she watched as he fought Spike down. He closed his eyes and balled his fists, while taking deep breaths.

"Chase, calm down," She said cautiously. "It won't do either of us any good if you turn into Spike." He nodded and soon his breathing evened out and he unclenched his fists. "Now, who were you talking about? Who would do this? I know that you know." She said and he nodded as he leaned against the edge of the sink.

"I do. Look, I know you think I was ignoring you yesterday, but that isn't the truth. At all." He began and she also leaned against the sink, curious as to what he meant by that. "I went to talk with Owen," He said and she was about to say something, when he put out his hand and stopped her.

"Now before you go on and say how I embarrassed you and that it wasn't necessary to talk to him," He said and she stood there with her mouth agape. He gave her a look as if to say 'really'? "I know you, Bree." He said in a tone as if it was obvious. She swallowed and nodded.

 _But apparently she didn't know him..._

"Now, the reason I talked to him was because," He paused and sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Look, I don't like telling you this, but Owen's been a bit of a bully to me for quite a while." He said, and a small gasp slipped from in between her lips.

"What? Why didn't you tell us? Tell me?" She asked and he shrugged.

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal; I mean, I get bullied all the time. And he seemed to be treating you well, so I thought that maybe he was a good guy, just maybe, he didn't like me. When you guys first started dating, I made sure that he treated you right, or else he would regret it. He seemed to take me serious enough, and I thought that he treated well."

He paused and looked at her. "He _did_ treat you well, right?" He asked and she hid a small smile at his concern, and nodded.

"Yeah, up until this whole ordeal." She said and he nodded.

"Anyway, he then started sending out these texts to me, saying things like the one you got, and well, I just thought that maybe I deserved it," As Chase was talking, Bree zoned out for a moment; the way Chase was talking about such a serious situation as if it was nothing.

And he thought he deserved it?

What else has been going on with him that she didn't know?

"I mean, since he wasn't the only one saying it-" Chase was saying nonchalantly, and this time Bree held her hand up.

"Whoa, whoa, _multiple_ people have been doing this to you?" She questioned, voice laced with anger. Chase only nodded, but she saw the look in his eyes. It was the same look her eyes possessed when she had looked in the mirror. A look of pure _broken_.

"But when he broke up with you, I went to him, because I did not want you to receive these texts. So, I told him to back off." Chase chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "He shoved me into the janitor's closet and locked me in there. I didn't want to hurt him, so I allowed myself to be pushed in there without putting up a fight." She frowned at his confession. She knew that Chase was claustrophobic.

And being locked in the janitor's closet, well...that just wasn't a good combination.

"And when I got back, it was pretty late, and you guys had already gone to bed, so I didn't think I should say anything. I mean, I knew you'd be okay, because well, I mean you're _you_. You're not like me. You don't cut." He frowned as he gently grabbed her wrist, as to not aggravate her wounds, and held it up.

She suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.

"But when I saw this, I freaked. Because you can seriously get addicted to cutting," He sighed with a small smile as he set her arm back down and glanced at his arm that still had it's sleeve rolled up.

"I've been trying to stop for a long time. It never works. I guess I just didn't want you getting addicted like I did. It's kinda' unhealthy," He said with a bitter smile. She frowned as she looked down.

She always thought she knew Chase, she thought that he was an open book. But she had no idea he cut. Especially for this long. No wonder he seemed to be obsessed with flannel shirts.

"So...can you overcome cutting?" She asked and he sighed.

"I never could. But you can, I mean you've cut once, even though this was pretty bad," He winced before continuing. "But I know you can, you're strong, and determined. I just can't seem to stop, but that doesn't mean you can't." He smiled encouragingly and she found herself smiling back.

"Now, I know that you won't want this, but we really need to tell the others about this, uh, cutting problem, before it progresses into something worse." He stated.

 _Like it did for you_ , she thought.

"What about you?" She questioned, suddenly not feeling so bad about the text after finding out about everything with him, and having him defend her. "Aren't we going to tell them about your problem?" He looked genuinely confused at her question.

"Why would we?"

"What do you mean; 'why would we?'?" She asked him and he sighed.

"It's not going to make any difference. Besides, they'll only make fun of me. I only told you about it, so it would _help_ you. Otherwise, you wouldn't know about this," He said, voice taking on a defensive position. He stood back up straight.

"But Chase, it could help. Maybe you could even stop entirely. And the others won't laugh at you, I can promise that. They do care, ya' know." She said and he looked down. "You _do_ know that, right?" After a moment of hesitation, he nodded, too slowly for her liking.

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and frowned at how he flinched form the contact. "Chase, we all love you. You have to know that," She said, not willing to believe that he wouldn't know that, and he shrugged.

"I don't know, never really thought about it." He lied.

"Chase-"

"Look, it's just that with Adam always teasing me and throwing me, and you guys always laughing, maybe I just don't feel like you guys love me. I mean, you never really showed me that you did indeed care," He confessed, rushing his words with frustration. He looked down in shame and tears sprung up to her eyes. He honestly didn't believe that they loved him.

"Chase, I'm-" She began in a choked voice, but Chase must have thought she was mad at him because he sighed and shook his head.

"Bree, I'm sorry. That-that came out wrong. I didn't mean to sound like a jerk," He said and she shook her head.

"You didn't, Chase. And I'm glad I now know how you feel, since I obviously never knew." She sighed. "I just always thought that you were aware of how much we cared for you, and that all the teasing was in jest. I'm so sorry, Chase," She finished, struggling to maintain her composure and keep her voice firm.

Her own baby brother thought that she hated him. He looked up, and she was shocked to see tears pooling in his hazel eyes. "And I do love you, Chase. We _all_ do." She declared, her voice wavering.

"You really mean that?" He asked, his voice sounding much more like a scared, little kid that she once knew, rather than the brave, fearless leader she knew him as now. She smiled and put an arm around his shoulder, gently bringing him against her side.

"Yeah, Chase. I actually do." She said quoting his previous words from the day before. He rolled his eyes playfully.

"You were always so dramatic." He exclaimed in exasperation and she laughed.

"Me!? What about you, you little Shakespeare." She said as she pinched his cheek. He playfully shoved her hand away and acted disgusted while she laughed. "Get over here, Hamlet." She said as she pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back and shook his head.

"That wasn't even the correct way to use that." He said and she shrugged.

"I know." She said, perkily just to annoy Chase. He sighed in fake exasperation, and she smiled. If someone saw them now, they would have never have guessed that they were both just talking about cutting and that they both do it, other than the scars.

She wasn't proud of her scars, at all, but she didn't mind them. For they brought her closer to her little brother. They each pulled away and Chase looked at the counter.

"Um, I think your ice cream melted." He stated as he pointed to the cup of liquid cream. She laughed and he fake pouted. "I paid good money for that,"

"Aww," She said as she slung an arm around his shoulder. "Doesn't the act of making your sister happy again make up for any of that?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No." He stated, but she knew how to get him. She decided to use his greatest weakness; the puppy dog face.

"How about now?" She questioned and he looked indecisive for a moment before speaking.

"Maybe," He said slowly, and uncertainly. She kicked it up a notch by using her 'Bambi' eyes, as she had been told about, and by also fluttering her eyelashes.

"Please, Chasey?" She asked and he groaned as he threw his head back.

"Fine! You win!" He exclaimed as he threw his arms out in a gesture. She smirked as she tugged him closer for a quick side-hug, before walking out of the room.

They both walked over to the couch and sat down, soon getting lost in a conversation about what it would be like to get a dog. She has no idea how it came up in the conversation, although she made a pretty good guess that it was Chase trying to distract her.

But the conversation was infinitely hilarious, and she was now clutching her sides with tears rolling down her cheeks. But this time it was in a good way. Suddenly, the door beside them opened, and in walked the rest of the family.

"Hey, guys, we're home! That took forever!" Tasha exclaimed as she and Mr. Davenport both walked in. Behind them, both Adam and Leo walked in, complaining about how one of them had won this round, and how the other one had won the round instead. Chase just rolled his eyes at them.

Typical Leo and Adam.

But Bree suddenly was very nervous.

That is, until she felt someone gently take her hand in their's. She looked up and saw Chase looking at her with an encouraging smile. She took a deep breath and nodded, before standing up and walking over to the rest of the family; Chase by her side. This wasn't going to be easy.

But at least she had her brother right by her side through it all, and she knew that it would always be that way.

And that made up for _everything_.

* * *

 **Wow, this may be my longest story yet! :D Can you please let me know what you thought? Because I thought that at the beginning it was kind of good, then it was bad about half-way through, then it sort of came together for an okay ending. I don't know. Please let m know! :)**


End file.
